Lupus flare ups,
Behind in school,
Mom, I have a bowling match!
3 days of training,
Exams to study for
My strength is straining.
Keep telling myself
You won’t break!
Just 2 more weeks
For Christ sake!
And just when I think
I can get over this hump,
I feel the dreaded…
There’s a lump.
Blood pressure at
Its highest point yet.
I want to cry
But I have no time
To do much more
Than this fucking rhyme
As I sit at my computer and force myself to watch footage from the inhumanity, injustice, and cowardly acts of terrorism that rocked our nation 11 years ago, I am wiping tears from my eyes and fighting to keep the vomit in my throat from coming out of my mouth. Americans said we wouldn’t forget and we haven’t. At least I haven’t. There were times when I thought maybe I was starting to because as time passed, I could think back to that day without as much emotion as I felt in times past. But after watching this video today, I clearly have not forgotten. Every visceral reaction I had on that day, I have again right now. I am numb and yet I feel so much. My coffee tastes like shit and the half of a protein bar I had for breakfast is fighting to come back out of my body. I feel so much sadness and loss and even anger all over again. The only difference today is that I don’t feel fear. I am not afraid today but oh God, how I remember the fear I felt at about 8:45am on 9/11/01.
And just as my mother never forgot that she was hanging clothes on a line when Kennedy was shot, I will never forget what I was doing when those animals tried to destroy our nation and took so many innocent lives.
I had just sent my daughter to the bus stop. My fire department pager went off for an EMS job for my neighbor who had fallen. I remember being so scared for him because he was disoriented. I remember walking back into the house and telling my husband that I was scared for our neighbor and my husband responded with words that seemed to wipe THAT fear away immediately.
“Go watch the television.”
As I watched, the only thing I wanted to do was get in my car and bring my baby girl home from school and hold her and her 3 year old brother in my arms and never let them go. My husband convinced me that leaving her at school would be best. That bringing her home would only scare her. I agreed and I left her there and hugged my son as much as he would allow. When she got off the bus that afternoon, I cried all over again.
What were you doing when you heard or witnessed the news? Share if you would like!
#10: If you walk past that receipt on the floor one more time without picking it up, you will eat it for dinner.
#9: As surprising as this may seem, you really don’t HAVE to wait until I turn into Medusa having a conniption in order to empty the dishwasher and clean your dishes in the sink. I am sorry if I somehow confused you on this point.
#8: Remember when I said my husband works 12 hours/day in a shop that is about 100 degrees and then you said, “Well IIIII stare at a computer for 8 hours a day!!!” Yea, HOW IS IT THAT YOU BELIEVE THERE IS ANY COMPARISON HERE?
#7: Why do I have to get my period just before I am about to do a final “My 4 Week (Not Weight-Loss) Challenge” post?? That post will be put off some more (I bet this whole post is making sense to you now)!
#6: Stop saying that this whole post is because I have my period or I will punch you in the face!
#5: Dear MVP, I received your letter stating that my MRI was denied…after I was told by the imaging group and my doctors office that it was approved. Please let me know if it was really denied so I can go UNdo the test.
#4: My opposition to the Healthcare “Reform” has NOTHING to do with me being a cold-hearted bitch and not wanting people to be healthy.
#3: Dear Husband, why do you leave my truck smelling like McDonald’s french fries when I am on a diet? I don’t leave your car smelling like sex when you aren’t getting any!! Let’s be fair now!
#2: Apparently it also ensures that you will judge people of all religions as being stupid or ignorant. The irony here is hysterical.
And the #1 rant of the week: When you insult me with your political and religious comments, you are exercising your American right to free speech but when I share my strong views, you call me out on my unChristian ways. I am sick and tired of Christians being told that they are acting unChristian-like when they voice the things we are passionate about. GET A NEW DEFENSE ALREADY PEOPLE!!! Maybe if you took the time to learn a little more about Christianity, you would know that Christians are not perfect and just like any parent, God knows His children are not perfect yet He loves us just the same!
I pray that You make Your presence incredibly obvious to these families and friends during this tragic time. God, please be with the emergency responders as they work through the sights, sounds, smells, and feelings they experienced and will continue to experience for a very long time. I pray that everyone will feel a sense of peace soon. God, thank you for keeping my own children safe while they were at the midnight showing of this movie here in our town.
In Jesus’s Holy name,
James Holmes, may God have mercy on your soul.
First, read my last post HERE if you didn’t already. If you don’t, this post will not make any sense to you at all.
Meg and I pulled into Maria’s parking lot and it was empty!!!! Again!! And again, we sat in the parking lot staring at the closed sign as if looking at it long enough would cause the whole situation to not be true. This time we yelled at the dark building, “It is the 4th of July week, not Cinco De Mayo!! Why do you need a vacation??!!” A man dressed in a maintenance uniform walked in the parking lot. We yelled out the window, “Do you have the keys to Maria’s? I am sure there is something in the fridge for us to eat!” Another car pulled in, slowed down, then left. They never stopped the car. They never cried. They didn’t even have a look of disbelief in their faces. I said, “Wow. They took that well. We must learn from them.” Meg said, “They just needed a parking lot to turn around in. There is no way they took it that well if they wanted to eat here.” She is always right.
We stayed in the parking lot until the end of the Culture Club song. At least we had George! Don’t judge us!
Then we went to a Chinese Restaurant. I ordered the Lucky Family and Fried Rice with (you guessed it) a side of Holy Moly and a beef burrito enchilada style.
This is Izzy.
Izzy is a Standard Poodle.
Her given name is Isabella and we planned on calling her Bella.
After 5 minutes with her we realized she must be called Izzy
Izzy is crazy!
Izzy has way more energy than she has grace, balance, or form.
She crashes into things. A lot.
She slides down stairs and she falls up them.
She runs into trees, walls and steps.
And occasionally, she gets a boo boo.
After all, she IS Busy Izzy.
Last Friday, she was running in the back yard and somehow, sliced her toe pad open.
I bandaged her foot like a pro.
I decided to see if it would heal on its own before rushing her to the vet.
She got stitches. The vet wanted me to put The Cone of Shame on her but I didn’t have the heart.
After a few days I decided to follow the doctor’s advice and let the foot get some air.
The bandage came off and her mouth was on the wound as if it were a fresh steak.
On went The cone of Shame
Five minutes later, she got the cone off.
I re-bandaged her foot and left the cone off.
When it was time to change the bandage, I noticed that the bandage had irritated the side of her foot.
It definitely needed some air but she started biting at it.
Cone of Shame back on only THIS time, Mommy’s not fucking around, Izzy! You WILL keep this on!
And she did.
For 24 hours.
During that 24 hours, she crashed into the walls about 400 times.
She knocked over the kitchen chairs and the garbage can.
She absolutely refused to go potty.
She tried cuddling me the entire time which meant that the Cone of Shame was up my ass most of the time.
She figured out how to lick her foot with The Cone of Shame on.
She fell off my bed in her sleep then crashed into the dresser trying to get up.
She ran into the banister so hard that the cone popped off.
I looked at her foot again. It was open. The stitches were gone.
I put the cone back on and took her to the vet today (yes, my new vet is open on Sundays ).
As soon as we got to the waiting area, I took the cone off.
She shit on the floor.
The vet put glue and another bandage on her foot.
We came home sans Cone of Shame.
I put her in her kennel to keep her calm as the doctor recommended.
I can’t take it anymore. There isn’t enough Xanax and tequila in the world right now.
I am seriously considering finding someone to babysit her until that foot is either healed or falls off.
This post is for The 30 Days of Writing Challenge hosted by We Work For Cheese. Today’s prompt is “The Babysitter.” I learned about this challenge while reading one of my favorite blogs called Absolutely Narcissism. Sandra is a total nutcase like me and I love her to death! Go check out her blog then check out We Work For Cheese!! I promise you WON’T be disappointed!!!
- teacher accused of putting ‘cone of shame’ dog collar on students (innerstandingisness.wordpress.com)
- Fla. teacher faces dismissal over ‘cone of shame’ (sfgate.com)
- Teacher Faces Dismissal Over ‘Cone Of Shame’ (miami.cbslocal.com)
- School: Teacher Used ‘Cone Of Shame’ Dog Collar To Discipline Students (tampa.cbslocal.com)
- Fla. Teacher Faces Dismissal Over ‘Cone of Shame’ (kstp.com)
- Psycho Dog Owner Goes Ape-Shit On Vet Receptionist (thenlistblog.com)
- Teacher Used “Cone of Shame” to Discipline Teens (neatorama.com)
- Teacher may lose job over ‘cone of shame’ (mercurynews.com)
Medium: Cardboard (pre-made) book shell, Polymer clay, paper, gloss medium
My sculptured book telling my feelings about the DSM.
The DSM is the Psychology Bible and although I understand its usefulness (at times), mostly I just can’t stand the book and its use. I believe it overshadows the humanism in the field of counseling. Instead of encouraging the counselor and worse, the client to see the client as a human being, it encourages the use of labeling the client as “disordered.” Of course, the book fights against this accusation by placing a clause in it stating that we are to refer to someone as a “person with schizophrenia” rather than “schizophrenic” but we all know that is just to cover its ass.
I DO recognize that there are some very real disorders in this book. I also recognize that there are some really bogus ones in here and I also recognize that if we look hard enough, there is not one person alive that would not be diagnosed with a psychological disorder.
I’m feeling physically and emotionally beat up today. This song usually reminds me of why I shouldn’t just stay under a blanket in my bed all week and cry myself to a Xanax-induced sleep.
I am sure I am not alone today. I hope this song helps you as well. Keep your head above water and swim!
Today’s post is dedicated to a good friend Traci. She is amazingly artistic and she is a strong soul! And…she is totally tatted up! Here are some of my favorites of hers.
- Would You Get This Tattoo? (987ampradio.cbslocal.com)
In my defense, the whole place is run like a goat rodeo. This is the final straw.
My dog’s breath smells like dirty vagina. When I mentioned it to the vet, she looked in his mouth quickly and said, “He doesn’t need a cleaning.” Well, that is only because I am mental and I scrape the dog’s teeth myself. Only I can’t get the back teeth nor can I get the back of the teeth and she only looked at the front of the front teeth. He needs a cleaning. I can’t take the sewer breath anymore.
I called the vet’s office to make a cleaning appointment for him and one of my other dogs. Because I was told he didn’t need a cleaning, I was fully prepared for a less-than-relaxing phone conversation. I already had my response planned out.
I am fully aware of the risks involved but his mouth smells like dirty vagina and if he dies while getting a dental cleaning, then I guess he wasn’t meant to live much longer anyway.
I know it sounds insensitive but HIS BREATH SMELLS LIKE DIRTY VAGINA!!! Besides, two of his back teeth are green!!
I DID encounter an issue but it wasn’t at all what I expected.
“I need to schedule a cleaning for two of my dogs.”
Okay. Have they been seen here recently?
“Yup. They were there 3 weeks ago.”
Okay. Can they come in on May 31st?
Oh….no…..I can’t do that day. How about June 7th?
Okay, this is for Clifford and Izzy?
And are you Nicki?
Okay, you will be the one dropping the dogs off (this was NOT a question. This was a STATEMENT).
“I might not be. My husband may be bringing them in.”
Ohhhhh….yeahhhh, you are not going to like my answer.
“I’m not asking you for permission. I am telling you that my husband may be dropping them off that day.”
Yeah, we can’t allow that.
You are the only person we have listed as a contact so you need to be the one to drop the dogs off.
“Well, I have Lupus. I never know if I am going to be mobile at 6:30 in the morning. If I am too sick that day, my husband WILL be bringing them in.”
Unfortunately, he isn’t on the chart as a contact, so we can’t do that.
“Well, add him to the chart.”
We can’t do that over the phone. You need to come in and speak to us in person about it.
“My husband and I are married. He pays all the vet bills. The thousands of dollars worth of checks you have received from us have his name on the check. I have been going there for 11 years. My husband has dropped them off and picked them up before.”
I understand that, Ma’am but this is a new policy. You wouldn’t believe how many problems we have had.
“With what? People kidnapping their pets TO the vet?!”
“I am telling you now that if I am too sick to get out of bed that day, my husband has my permission to bring HIS dogs to the vet.”
You have to tell us in person.
“Okay. This is stupid. My dogs will be there at 7am on the 7th of June. They will not get anything to eat or drink after 9pm on the 6th. Please have Dr. Balonik call me.”
“PLEASE HAVE DOCTOR BALONIK CALL ME.”
I’m sorry. I can’t do that.
“DON’T TELL ME THAT THE OWNER OF THE PLACE CAN’T CALL ME!”
Ma’am, calm d…
“DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!!!”
She put another person on the phone who nicely explained to me that the doc has a new rule, I am the only one authorized to drop off my dog, I need to go there in person, blah blah blah. I told her that I may not be physically able to get there because of my illness. She said that if that is the case, they will allow it to slide that one time but I need to get in there to change the chart.
I most certainly will. AFTER my dogs’ teeth are nice and pearly white, I will be TAKING MY CHART to a different vet.
I can hear how that is going to go now. I’m sorry, Ma’am. You can’t do that.