For Once I Am At A Loss For Words
As many of you know, I am a member of the West Webster Fire Department. This week has been the longest week of my life and yet, it seems like just yesterday, I was thanking Tomasz for supporting me and laughing at Chip’s goofy ways. I have so many thoughts that they are all scrambled and every time I try to put them in writing, words never seem to be nearly enough so I just give up. I know that I will write about the events of this week soon. I know I must in order to get it out there. I also know that I won’t be able to do it now. Two of my brothers and friends went into the ground this week because of a sick coward and the community has completely overwhelmed me in response. All I can say here is a message from my Mother-in-Law, “What the devil uses for evil, God uses for good.” Amen. More to follow when my thoughts get clearer. Stay safe, friends.
Related articles
- Toronto firefighters attend New York funerals after shooting spree (thestar.com)
- Ending 2012 with firefighters on my mind (notesfromthefunnyfarm.wordpress.com)
- 100 Toronto firefighters in upstate New York for funerals after shooting spree (metronews.ca)
- Bills honor West Webster Fire Department with decal (buffalobills.com)
- Mourners lay to rest firefighter ambushed by gunman (photoblog.nbcnews.com)
- 2 NY Firefighters Who Survived Gun Ambush Thankful (abcnews.go.com)
- Autopsy: NY gunman shot self, not hit by police (ktvb.com)
- Thousands attend funeral of slain N.Y. firefighter (usatoday.com)
- 2 firefighters shot dead, 2 hurt in ‘trap’ at fire in upstate N.Y. (latimes.com)
Black Friday; Think 2ce Before You Agree To Go With Me
I LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE Black Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Under ONE condition. Okay, TWO conditions. CRAP…THREE conditions. NO WAIT, FOUR, FOUR WONDERFUL CONDITIONS, AH HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!!
(You were supposed to say that in the Count’s voice. If you didn’t do that, please go read it again only properly this time).
The four conditions are:
#1) A cup of coffee larger than the size of my bladder and hotter than magma is A MUST!!!
#2) No jackets allowed!!! I will freeze my t*ts off but I hate wearing jackets in the stores.
#3) ABSOLUTELY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (and this actually should be number 2) LOOKING AT ADS PRIOR TO BLACK FRIDAY BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS ON SALE ONLY TO HAVE IT BE GONE WHEN I GET THERE OR HAVE TO TURN INTO ROCKY BALBOA OVER A BLENDER. Yo, Adrian!!!!
#4) No cart, no shopping!!! I refuse to look like this in the store!
From left, Cheryl Hodyna and her daughter, Amanda May try to carry all of there purchases at Kohl’s on Black Friday morning. (Press Photo/Hollyn Johnson)
#5) I know I said I have four conditions. Just accept that I lied and move on. #5) No, I won’t hold your stuff!!! If I won’t hold my own crap, what makes you think I will hold yours??
#6) This kind of goes without saying but I must have money!!!!! I really don’t understand why people go shopping on Black Friday with only $7.53 to their name. You people are insane. Go back to bed!!!
#7) I do NOT wait in lines to ENTER THE STORE as if I am waiting to meet….oh….I don’t know. Who would I wait THAT LONG in line to meet? Jesus Christ. That is about it. He is so good and so hot (according to rumors anyway). So yeah, I will not wait in line to enter a store unless Jesus Christ or Our Almighty Father is inside the store. And nooooo I don’t mean in spirit…I mean in flesh and blood….or at least in a huge brighter-than-the-sun-but-somehow-I-can-still-look-at-it-without-burning-my-retinas flaming ball somewhere between the Starbucks and the bathrooms. NOT near the electronics because you never go near the electronics on Black Friday!! Which leads me to condition #8…
#8) Stay the heck away from the electronics on Black Friday! Unless I am one of the first 10 people in the store (and that will never happen. Refer to #7), I stand NO chance at getting an IPod for 75 cents. And even if I did….I would rather pay full price AND stick toothpicks in my eyes to avoid standing in the electronics line!!!!
#9) If you want to go Black Friday shopping with me, PLAN ON WAITING IN LINE (for the register) FOR 2 HOURS AND DON’T BITCH ABOUT HOW PACKED THE STORE IS OR HOW LONG YOU HAVE TO WAIT! I don’t care how many times I warn people that the stores will be standing-room only and the wait will be insane yet they still have the nerve to look surprised and worse, ruin my fun by complaining the whole time!!
And #10) and this should be #1…yes, even before the coffee…THIS is NEVER, EVER ACCEPTABLE!!!!!
Image taken from http://theeconomiccollapseblog.com
IT IS JUST STUFF, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! IF I EVER SEE ANYONE KNOCK OVER AN ELDERLY PERSON SO YOU CAN GET 10 BUCKS OFF OF A STOCK POT, YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN’T DONE THAT!!!
How about you? Do you go shopping on Black Friday and if so, do you have your own rules?
T’is The Season…
…to be thankful for what we have and to help those in need. I normally hang up on anyone who calls my home (or cell phone) looking for hand-outs. It isn’t because I am uncaring. Indeed, my heart bleeds for so many people that whenever I imagine what I would do if I won the lottery, there is never a dime left over for me…and never enough to give to everyone I want to help. My calculations go something like this:
I would pay off the homes of all of my sisters and brothers (including those that are in-laws).
I would pay to have and addition put on my house so my husband’s father can live with us and I would pay for the very best private nurses for him 24/7 (and by “best” I mean that they are truly devoted to promoting his needs of autonomy, competence, and companionship while physically caring for him).
I would donate a large sum of money to the fire department.
I would open a new state of the art nursing home that would be an all-inclusive wellness center as well as one that truly promotes the emotional well-being of each and every elder each and every minute of the day. The wellness center would be in the middle of a neighborhood of small ranch houses with huge kitchens. Each staff person would be thoroughly trained in the Eden tradition AND Self-Determination Theory. Each staff person would be made to be bathed by a staff member and depend on a staff member to go to the bathroom as part of their orientation training so they can gain a little bit of understanding. And each elder would have a person around the clock to serve as their personal companion whose sole purpose would be to provide company, companionship, and love. This person would have AN EQUAL VOICE (or a greater voice in some cases) in all of the care-related decisions for their companion. Each staff member would understand that if they want to work there, they are to truly believe that the home is the elders’ home and they are a guest in their home.
Then I would donate to all of the other charities I feel a bond with.
As you can see, I clearly need to win the lottery 20 times over (at least) to accomplish this!
So, instead, I donate 10-20 bucks here and there when I see something that is meaningful to me.
I always give to the Goodwill
I donate to the Caring Bridge site
I always buy fundraiser stuff if kids ask me. Same with Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. I never refuse them but my only rule is that they must come to me. I am not going to seek them out.
I donate when friends are looking for sponsors for fund-raising events.
I donate to blogs that have a “donate” button if I feel compelled to do so.
These are all small donations and although I wish I could do more, I know that every little bit helps. My latest donation is for a little girl in Florida who asked for a new hand for Christmas. Pull at my freakin’ heart strings some more, why don’t ya????? If you are interested in playing Santa to this precious girl, click here. If you want to know more about this little girl, go here. May God bless this family. I just know she will get her Christmas wish!!
Are there any charities you feel passionate about? What would YOU do with the money if you won the lottery??
I Can’t Forget, Don’t Want To Forget, I Won’t Forget
As I sit at my computer and force myself to watch footage from the inhumanity, injustice, and cowardly acts of terrorism that rocked our nation 11 years ago, I am wiping tears from my eyes and fighting to keep the vomit in my throat from coming out of my mouth. Americans said we wouldn’t forget and we haven’t. At least I haven’t. There were times when I thought maybe I was starting to because as time passed, I could think back to that day without as much emotion as I felt in times past. But after watching this video today, I clearly have not forgotten. Every visceral reaction I had on that day, I have again right now. I am numb and yet I feel so much. My coffee tastes like shit and the half of a protein bar I had for breakfast is fighting to come back out of my body. I feel so much sadness and loss and even anger all over again. The only difference today is that I don’t feel fear. I am not afraid today but oh God, how I remember the fear I felt at about 8:45am on 9/11/01.
And just as my mother never forgot that she was hanging clothes on a line when Kennedy was shot, I will never forget what I was doing when those animals tried to destroy our nation and took so many innocent lives.
I had just sent my daughter to the bus stop. My fire department pager went off for an EMS job for my neighbor who had fallen. I remember being so scared for him because he was disoriented. I remember walking back into the house and telling my husband that I was scared for our neighbor and my husband responded with words that seemed to wipe THAT fear away immediately.
“Go watch the television.”
As I watched, the only thing I wanted to do was get in my car and bring my baby girl home from school and hold her and her 3 year old brother in my arms and never let them go. My husband convinced me that leaving her at school would be best. That bringing her home would only scare her. I agreed and I left her there and hugged my son as much as he would allow. When she got off the bus that afternoon, I cried all over again.
What were you doing when you heard or witnessed the news? Share if you would like!
My Top Ten Rants Of The Week
#10: If you walk past that receipt on the floor one more time without picking it up, you will eat it for dinner.
#9: As surprising as this may seem, you really don’t HAVE to wait until I turn into Medusa having a conniption in order to empty the dishwasher and clean your dishes in the sink. I am sorry if I somehow confused you on this point.
#8: Remember when I said my husband works 12 hours/day in a shop that is about 100 degrees and then you said, “Well IIIII stare at a computer for 8 hours a day!!!” Yea, HOW IS IT THAT YOU BELIEVE THERE IS ANY COMPARISON HERE?
#7: Why do I have to get my period just before I am about to do a final “My 4 Week (Not Weight-Loss) Challenge” post?? That post will be put off some more (I bet this whole post is making sense to you now)!
#6: Stop saying that this whole post is because I have my period or I will punch you in the face!
#5: Dear MVP, I received your letter stating that my MRI was denied…after I was told by the imaging group and my doctors office that it was approved. Please let me know if it was really denied so I can go UNdo the test.
#4: My opposition to the Healthcare “Reform” has NOTHING to do with me being a cold-hearted bitch and not wanting people to be healthy.
A cheap shot and a stupid one at that.
#3: Dear Husband, why do you leave my truck smelling like McDonald’s french fries when I am on a diet? I don’t leave your car smelling like sex when you aren’t getting any!! Let’s be fair now!
#2: Apparently it also ensures that you will judge people of all religions as being stupid or ignorant. The irony here is hysterical.
And the #1 rant of the week: When you insult me with your political and religious comments, you are exercising your American right to free speech but when I share my strong views, you call me out on my unChristian ways. I am sick and tired of Christians being told that they are acting unChristian-like when they voice the things we are passionate about. GET A NEW DEFENSE ALREADY PEOPLE!!! Maybe if you took the time to learn a little more about Christianity, you would know that Christians are not perfect and just like any parent, God knows His children are not perfect yet He loves us just the same!
God Hear My Prayer
Dear God,
I pray that You make Your presence incredibly obvious to these families and friends during this tragic time. God, please be with the emergency responders as they work through the sights, sounds, smells, and feelings they experienced and will continue to experience for a very long time. I pray that everyone will feel a sense of peace soon. God, thank you for keeping my own children safe while they were at the midnight showing of this movie here in our town.
In Jesus’s Holy name,
Amen
James Holmes, may God have mercy on your soul.
I Am An Imperfect Christian
I Am
I am an imperfect Christian
I wonder what life after death is really like
I hear my prayers answered in songs on the radio
I see my mom in my dreams
I want my children to know Jesus
I am an imperfect Christian
I pretend I am brave when I truly am scared
I feel God’s presence every single day
I touch people’s hearts when I can
I worry that my kids don’t know how much I love them
I cry at the drop of a dime
I am an imperfect Christian
I understand that Jesus died for me but I don’t feel worthy
I say that only God knows what is in people’s hearts
I dream about my mom walking again
I try not to judge others
I hope my children get to know Jesus
I am an imperfect Christian
(This poem was created for the Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop. Go HERE to create your own and go HERE to learn how to participate!!
Related articles
- A Simple Rule to Avoid a Christ-less Christianity (christcenteredteaching.wordpress.com)
- A Christian’s daily walk with the Lord Jesus (sacollinsvogan.wordpress.com)
- Pursuing God’s Presence (liveyourfullerlife.wordpress.com)
- The Human Christian (eliezer40.com)
- Kamal Saleem: A Muslim Cries Out to Jesus (thenlistblog.com)
- Mourning, Meekness, and Spiritual Hunger (Mt. 5:4-6) (raymondjclements.wordpress.com)
- He Knew Just What I Needed (for a time like this) (virtuouswoman73.wordpress.com)
Kamal Saleem: A Muslim Cries Out to Jesus
As a Christian, this filled my heart so much that I literally sobbed watching it. Praise God and praise Jesus!!!!!!!!! If you are not a Christian, I invite you to spend the next 8 minutes of your life watching this. May God richly bless all of you today and always!!!
I found this awesome video here:
The Ultimate Non-Trad!!!
As you may know, I am a Non-Trad (Non-Traditional College Student). I am 40 years old and just recently earned my BA in Psychology and I am now working on my Masters in Mental Health Counseling.
Getting a degree in my late 30′s was hard work! With family and firehouse obligations, friends telling me that I neglect them, and Lupus, it often seemed like an uphill battle. But I was determined and I am proud that I completed it!
I took a Medical Leave of absence this past semester and half of the semester before that. I go back to school full-time at the end of August and to be honest, I have been really worried about that. I just don’t know if I have what it takes; the passion, the desire, the patience, the same priorities, and mostly, the energy. I am really scared that I will not succeed this time and then I will be devastated that I didn’t. I will regret so much.
I have prayed about this and more so recently. It is amazing how God never ceases to answer my prayers!!! Once again, God, thank you for having my back! How did He answer my prayers this time? When I logged onto Yahoo today, this is the article that greeted me. I think I DO have what it takes. I just need to remind myself of that!
Website Credit: http://gma.yahoo.com/michigan-man-29-college-degrees-counting-191653707–abc-news-topstories.html
Michigan Man Has 29 College Degrees and Counting (ABC News)
Every June, students all over the country don their caps and gowns for graduation. Whether it’s from high school, college or graduate school, most people could easily count their own graduations on one hand.
But not 71-year-old Michael Nicholson of Kalamazoo, Mich.Nicholson has earned 29 degrees and is now pursuing his 30th.
“I just stayed in school and took menial jobs to pay for the education and just made a point of getting more degrees and eventually I retired so that I could go full-time to school,” Nicholson told ABCNews.com.
“It’s stimulation to go to the class, look at the material that’s required and meet the teacher and students. It makes life interesting for me,” he said. “Otherwise, things would be pretty dull.”
Nicholson has one bachelor’s degree, two associate’s degrees, 22 master’s degrees, three specialist degrees and one doctoral degree.
Most of the degrees are related to education such as educational leadership, library science and school psychology, but other degrees include home economics, health education and law enforcement.
Nicholson is currently working on a master’s degree in criminal justice.
“I would like to get to 33 or 34. I’m almost there,” he said. “When I complete that, I’ll feel like I’ve completed my basic education. After that, if I’m still alive — that would take me to 80 or 81 — I would then be free to pursue any type of degree.”
Nicholson’s early interest in education came from the encouragement of his parents, who wanted him to be well-educated. His Canadian father was forced to drop out of school after the third grade to work and his mother graduated from high school.
“We were motivated to continue with our educations and go as far as we could go,” he said of himself and his siblings. “She [his mother] wanted something better for us than simply working at a factory, so she kept doing the necessary for us to continue.”
Nicholson’s first degree was a bachelor’s in religious education from William Tyndale College in Michigan in 1963.
Five degrees later, he was pursuing his doctorate in education from Western Michigan University in 1978.
While pursuing the doctorate, he met Western Michigan University Professor Tom Carey when Nicholson was working as a parking lot attendant writing tickets for the university. He wrote Carey three tickets in one day and the two have now known each other for 35 years.
“I’ve had 18,000 students in class and I’ve never heard of anybody like this,” Carey told ABCNews.com. “He’s the ultimate life-long learner. I marvel at his tenacity to go to school.”
Nicholson has earned all of his degrees; none of them have been honorary or awarded degrees. Though Carey was never Nicholson’s professor, the two meet at least once a year for Nicholson to give Carey an updated resume, which he shows students in his classes.
“He’s intrinsically motivated. It’s unique, but it almost sounds bizarre,” Carey said. “Some people collect animals and he collects tassels.”
And collect tassels he does. Nicholson has been to 28 of his 29 graduation ceremonies.
What does he enjoy about the graduation ceremonies? “Just the pomp and circumstance. … I could do without the speeches,” he said with a laugh.
“Eventually, it became getting as many as I could,” he said. “There’s the excitement of graduation, but the overall objective was to get the degree.”
He has earned degrees from a dozen schools in places including Michigan, Texas, Indiana and Canada, and he always goes to class.
“I would not take an Internet class. That’s far too difficult,” Nicholson said. “I’m not one of those all-A students.”
He still works on a typewriter and his wife Sharon Nicholson helps him type up his assignments. His wife is highly educated in her own right, with seven degrees of her own.
“She helps me with my homework all the time,” he said. “I cannot function on a computer, so she has to do it.”
When asked what advice he would give to recent graduates, Nicholson paused before saying, “Don’t quit too soon. Keep up with your aspirations. A lot of people tend to throw in the towel and have to come back to it later. Don’t give up on your aspirations too soon.”
And the admittedly competitive Nicholson has no plans to give up on his own aspirations, hinting that he has his eye on a few more degrees in the next few years.
“He likes going to school and doesn’t want responsibility,” Carey said. “This is what Mike lives for. He’s about 70 and he’s not going to stop. It wouldn’t surprise me if at one point he tried law school or something else.”
Related articles
- Michigan Man Has 29 College Degrees (abcnews.go.com)
- Will Scott Walker Finally Get His College Degree? (dekerivers.wordpress.com)
- Degree #3 (1yogafan.wordpress.com)
- Keiser University Recognizes New International Graduates (prweb.com)
- College Graduates Predict Economy Can Only Improve Over the Next Year (prweb.com)
- Baker College of Muskegon graduates largest class ever in 2012 (mlive.com)
- Olin Holds Seventh Commencement; Graduates Urged to Blaze New Trails (prweb.com)
- 71-Year-Old Earns Advanced Degree (huffingtonpost.com)
- (Not My) Sense of Accomplishment (thenlistblog.com)
I Was A Zombie For A Day.
I am not sure when it all started but about 10 years ago, I became obsessed with the idea that my husband and I needed to buy our burial plots. Immediately. I started looking for the perfect Retirement Home for us. I went alone because at the age of 30, he thought I was nuts being a bit premature.
I started thinking about the comfort of the people left behind after I die and thought that people would be much more comfortable in a Mausoleum than outside, especially in the winter (because OF COURSE oodles of people will want to visit me after I die). I started pricing the Filing Cabinet Drawers as I like to call them.
Mausoleum at Holy Sepulchre
The drawers go all the way up to the ceiling. The ones at the top are the least expensive. The ones at the floor are the second least expensive and the ones at eye level are most expensive. I had to laugh at the idea that the eye level drawers were considered “Prime Real Estate” but I was not laughing at all at the prices. If I wanted to buy one at that time, it would have to be the one at the ceiling. My family would have to bring scaffolding if they wanted to sit with me.
I decided to consider the outdoor plots. My entire family (just about) had been buried at Holy Sepulchre. It really is a beautiful cemetery but I decided to look at White Haven as well. White Haven is a bit different. They do not allow any raised markers (tomb stones) nor do they allow any planting of flowers or other “lawn trash.” The whole place looks like a park instead of a cemetery. They even call it a “Memorial Park” rather than a cemetery.
White Haven Ground Burial Site
I got such a calm feeling being there and I thought “THIS is it!”
Then in 2006, my mother died. She was just shy of 64. She was buried in the ground at Holy Sepulchre.
Mom’s headstone.
I decided that I wanted to spend the following Mother’s Day with my mom. I packed some flowers and gardening tools, a lunch, a blanket, a book, a journal, and a blanket. The weather was beautiful.
I arrived at about 10am. I planted some flowers, sat on the blanket and read my book, wrote a letter to Mom in my journal and just took everything in. It was so peaceful and I felt closer to my mom than I had in a long time. Then I lied on the blanket and took a nap.
I woke up to some guy yelling, “THAT ONE JUST MOVED!!!” I sat up and he was staring at me. He yelled, “Oh my God! You scared the shit out of me! I thought you was dead!!!!” I laughed hysterically and yelled back, “What did you think? They just forgot to bury me or that I am a zombie?!”
Mom and I certainly enjoyed the laugh at the poor guy’s expense!
It was then and there that I decided that a ground plot where people are allowed to plant flowers was the place for me. Because my mom was in the ground in a place where gardening is allowed, I got to spend 8 hours just hanging out with her in the gorgeous weather, playing pranks on the other visitors! I don’t want to rob my kids of the opportunity to scare the ever-loving shit out of someone like that when I die!!
This post is for The 30 Days of Writing Challenge hosted by We Work For Cheese. Today’s prompt is “Hanging out in the cemetery.”
The (REALLY) Short Hairs
NO, NOT THOSE HAIRS! Get your mind out of the gutter!!
I have ALWAYS had a full head of hair. My mother had a natural afro.
Mom and Me on my wedding day.
One day (while my hair was short, mind you) I got brave and posted to Facebook what my hair looks like when I put a brush to it.
No brushes allowed!! Same for the hair dryer.
This is why I LOVED Gilda Radner!!! We had so much in common.
About a year after I was diagnosed with Lupus, my sister was diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer. Understandably, she was concerned about losing her hair.
I felt so useless during the time she was in treatment for cancer.
I couldn’t turn back the clock.
I couldn’t take the cancer out of her body.
I couldn’t endure the treatments for her.
I COULD pray for her and I PRAYED MY GUTS OUT.
(Thank you, Heavenly Father, for hearing and answering my prayers!!!)
And I could help her feel less alone.
When she lost her hair, I had her shave my head too.
Me just before Mother Of All Haircuts
Silly ponytails
My sister, the hairdresser
Me looking HOT without hair.
Sister Power!!! I never realized how much we resembled each other until we were both bald!
I LOVED this scarf!!!!
And I LOVED my “T’was The Night Before Christmas Cap.” I FROZE if I went to bed without this on!! Yes, I was wearing footie pajamas in this pic! I LOVE my footies!!
I was surprised at how much I LOVED not having hair to deal with every day. It was incredibly liberating!!
Because of my Lupus, I already had plenty of bald spots and my scalp was polka-dotted. If it wasn’t for this issue, I would have stayed bald longer and I would have gone in public without my caps and scarves on.
I think Sinead O’Connor had something going there!
And now that I have THIS song in my head, you can too. You are welcome.
This post is for The 30 Days of Writing Challenge hosted by We Work For Cheese. Today’s prompt is “The Short Hairs.”
Related articles
- Hair With a Plan (hartlove.wordpress.com)
- Beauty Hacker: A Genius Tip for Pinning Short Hair Up (theblush.com)
- Becoming an Esophageal Cancer Survivor (everydayhealth.com)
- Types of Esophageal Cancer (everydayhealth.com)
- Detecting Esophageal Cancer (everydayhealth.com)
It’s Official. I Don’t Have Lupus. I Am A Vampire
I have been doing some thinking and I have come to the conclusion that none of my doctors know what the hell they are talking about. Luckily, I do know a thing or three about medicine. I have decided that I do NOT have Lupus (yayyy!!!). I am a vampire. I always suspected it because the sun is my kryptonite and I used to joke that my next coffee table will be a coffin. But now, I am sure of it. How you ask?
Well, I did some research on the Random Facts website (http://facts.randomhistory.com/2009/05/02_vampires.html). Here are the top 14 reasons that I am a vampire.
#14) A group a vampires has variously been called a clutch, brood, coven, pack, or a clan
I often refer to myself as the “leader of my pack” and my dog totally sees me as such.
#13) Probably the most famous vampire of all time, Count Dracula, quoted Deuteronomy 12:23: “The blood is the life.
I too, have quoted Deuteronomy…just not 12:23
#12) The Muppet vampire, Count von Count from Sesame Street, is based on actual vampire myth. One way to supposedly deter a vampire is to throw seeds (usually mustard) outside a door or place fishing net outside a window. Vampires are compelled to count the seeds or the holes in the net, delaying them until the sun comes up.
The Count was my favorite muppet character!!! I loved him way more than I loved Grover and I want to bash Elmo’s face in.
#11) Documented medical disorders that people accused of being a vampire may have suffered from include haematodipsia, which is a sexual thirst for blood, and hemeralopia or day blindness. Anemia (“bloodlessness”) was often mistaken for a symptom of a vampire attack
I have not developed a sexual thirst for blood (yet. I am a relatively young vampire…only 40) but I am anemic and my doctor always tells me that I need more red blood (cells).
#10) One of the most famous “true vampires” was Countess Elizabeth Bathory (1560-1614) who was accused of biting the flesh of girls while torturing them and bathing in their blood to retain her youthful beauty. She was by all accounts a very attractive woman.
I too try to retain my youthful beauty and I AM by all accounts a very attractive woman. Well, at least by my accounts and my boy dog who has a major Oedipus Complex.
#9) A vampire supposedly has control over the animal world and can turn into a bat, rat, owl, moth, fox, or wolf.
I have within my house or my yard (and I shit you not) 3 dogs, 2 tree frogs, 2 fish in an aquarium, 4 Koi in my pond, a baby bunny, a fox, a woodchuck, skunks, a few chipmunks, squirrels, ducks, deer, birds galore, the occasional wild turkey, and a mangy coyote. I have also had pet mice, hamsters, geckos, a parakeet, a cockateil, and a guinea pig.
#8) Joseph Sheridan Le Fany’s gothic 1872 novella about a female vampire, “Carmilla,” is considered the prototype for female and lesbian vampires and greatly influenced Bram Stoker’s own Dracula. In the story, Carmilla is eventually discovered as a vampire and, true to folklore remedies, she is staked in her blood-filled coffin, beheaded, and cremated.
My middle name is Carmela. Close enough!
#7) After the advent of Christianity, methods of repelling vampires began to include holy water, crucifixes, and Eucharist wafers. These methods were usually not fatal to the vampire, and their effectiveness depended on the belief of the user.
Although I was baptized Catholic, I never received Communion. Additionally, I am not Catholic anymore (independent Christian) and I do not believe the Crucifix is a proper symbol of Christianity.
#6) That sunlight can kill vampires seems to be a modern invention, perhaps started by the U.S. government to scare superstitious guerrillas in the Philippines in the 1950s. While sunlight can be used by vampires to kill other vampires, as in Ann Rice’s popular novel Interview with a Vampire, other vampires such as Lord Ruthven and Varney were able to walk in daylight.
I am able to walk in daylight but too much sun will kill me.
#5) The legend that vampires must sleep in coffins probably arose from reports of gravediggers and morticians who described corpses suddenly sitting up in their graves or coffins. This eerie phenomenon could be caused by the decomposing process.
I sit up suddenly while I am sleeping. Especially if I have to pee or I hear a noise.
#4) Hollywood vampires are typically pale, aristocratic, very old, need their native soil, are supernaturally beautiful, and usually need to be bitten to become a vampire.
I am freakishly pale for an Italian and I don’t tan; I burn. I feel very old, I have lived in the same town my entire life and I am even supernaturally beautiful. Well, I think I am kinda good looking and although my beauty may not be SUPERnatural, it is UNnatural. I had a tummy tuck.
#3) The most popular vampire in children’s fiction in recent years had been Bunnicula, the cute little rabbit that lives a happy existence as a vegetarian vampire.
PEETA???? For those of you who do not know, Peeta is the baby bunny I rescued, raised for 12 days, and I believe is the one living in my front yard now.
#2) A rare disease called porphyria (also called the “vampire” or “Dracula” disease) causes vampire-like symptoms, such as an extreme sensitivity to sunlight and sometimes hairiness. In extreme cases, teeth might be stained reddish brown, and eventually the patient may go mad.
I have extreme sensitivity to sunlight, the hair ON MY HEAD is very thick (even with the occasional bald spots), my teeth are stained a bit…always thought that was coffee but now I know better…and I am ALWAYS going mad. Hence, the Xanax.
And the #1 reason I am a vampire…
I had my fire department physical last night. The woman told me, “Your eyesight sucks but your hearing is incredible. I bet nothing gets past you! I can imagine that even the slightest sounds drive you nuts (YUPPP!!!). YOU HAVE THE EYES AND EARS OF A BAT!”
And now that I want to watch this movie again, you can too!
Related articles
- Famous Fangs: Tales of Our Favorite Vampires (livescience.com)
- ‘Vampire’ corpses found in Bulgaria (thesun.co.uk)
- VAMPIRE SKELETONS: Shocking Discovery Made in Bulgaria (PHOTO) (blippitt.com)
- Anno Dracula ~ The Best Vampire Novel In Three Decades? (lilywight.com)
- V is for Vampires (nagzilla.wordpress.com)
- Bloodsucker Collection: Twilight, Dracula, True Blood, and The Vampire Diaries (digitalproductsonline.typepad.com)
- Opinion: Death, Sex and Vampires (nytimes.com)
- Will Hill’s top 10 vampires (guardian.co.uk)
- Why are so many vampire stories so weak? [Horror] (io9.com)
- ‘Vampire’ corpses found in Bulgaria (thesun.co.uk)
Peeta Returns?
It has been seven days since my last confession. Shit. Wrong thought. Actually, I privately confess about every 7 minutes because I keep thinking that the more I talk and plead, the less chance I have of going to hell. God accounts for brownie points, right? Formally, it has been 40+ years since my last confession. Okay, fine. I have NEVER gone to confession but since I gave up Catholicism for a branch of Christianity that is a little more “God still loves you even if you ate an entire cake AND masturbated on the same day” and a little less, “ooooohhhhhh, you are in sooooooo much troubllllleeeee,” I no longer accept that not going to confession is a sin in and of itself. I mean, why would I tell some guy that probably did worse things than me all of my dirt? It will only give him ideas.
Tangent much?
And we are back.
It has been seven days since I set Peeta Cottontail free. Yesterday, I saw a little baby bunny in my front yard. Maybe Peeta wandered from the back yard to the front yard? Well, of course that is it because I am quite certain that Peeta is the ONLY baby bunny on my street. Makes total sense to me.
I tried to film him yesterday. I just dated myself with the term “film.” Just pretend I said “record” or “capture” or “stalk” or “digitalize” or “dude” or whatever the hell makes me sound younger than someone who says “film.” Anyway, I tried to video record him yesterday but either I had too much coffee or too much crack because the damn camera was bouncing all over the place when it appeared to me that my hands were perfectly still. You would have gotten motion sickness for sure.
I recorded him a few times this morning but apparently, the crack hasn’t completely cleared my system yet and it wasn’t any better. He also was on the camera for a total of 99 seconds before he ran off, seemingly never to return again.
I threw a carrot over to where he was and then said, “Well, I guess that is it. He is gone for now.” The second I turned off the camera, this happened. That Peeta. He loves messin’ with me.
Related articles
- Ha Ha! I DIDN’T Kill The Bunny!! (Bunny Rescue Part 3) (thenlistblog.com)
- If You Love Some Bunny, Set It Free (Bunny Rescue, Final Chapter) (thenlistblog.com)
If You Love Some Bunny, Set It Free (Bunny Rescue, Final Chapter)
Peeta has grown so much since I first got him about 12 days ago. I have been handling him less so that it would be less traumatizing for both of us when it came time to let go. I also have been weaning him from the formula from 2 feedings/day to 1.
Lately when I remove the lid from the cage, he has been very jumpy and I can tell he really needs to be a free spirit. He doesn’t belong in a cage and he knows it. Although I never planned on keeping him as a pet (plan was always to get him big and strong enough to be free), I thought I would have held onto him longer than just shy of 2 weeks.
Today was bitter-sweet. I let Peeta go and I know he is happy and will be okay. But I am still a little sad. I suck at videography but enjoy the video none-the-less!!
Here is your new home, Peeta! Enjoy the space but be careful out there, buddy!
A bit roomier than the 10 gallon tank!
And because I have this song in my head today, you can too!!
“God Hates Fags”
While searching for images of God Tattoos, I came across this.
Kudos to the person for allowing an incision to fuck up his hateful tattoo in order to donate an organ. I will give him credit for that. But that is the ONLY credit I will extend him! For anyone who shares the same views as this wonderful contribution to society, I say this.
GOD LOVES ALL OF HIS CHILDREN!!! That hate is in you, not God! DON’T YOU DARE SPREAD YOUR HATE IN GOD’S NAME. God even loves you, Mr. (or Ms.) Hater but I am willing to bet that our Heavenly Father is a bit saddened by your behavior.
I sincerely hope this person has an awakening someday (or may have had one already) and has to endure the regret of getting this horrible tattoo and the pain of having it lasered off!
