My Bucket List
- Land a respectable career despite the fact that when the bosses Google my name, they will gain some very unflattering information about me, my views, and my mouth
- Learn how to speak Italian (or at least become fluent in Pig Latin)
- Get an honorary Doctorate in anything (because I would love to be called “Doctor” but don’t want to be in school that long or do that much work)
- Earn my Master’s Degree in Mental Health Counseling
- Have my life on the N-List go viral and not get sued by Kathy Griffin for stealing her idea
- Become a household name and have someone ask me for my autograph (and not as a joke or in a drunken stupor)
- Revolutionize nursing homes and the way the elderly are treated in our society
Hear my kids brag about me- Give new life to the 7 dead gardens in my yard
- Go to Italy
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